If I remember rightly, it was a monthly event at our local leisure centre, a disco aimed at 13-18 year olds where we could pretend we were slightly older than we actually were.
The thing I remember the most about these events is the competition to kiss as a many boys as possible.
I don't know why I thought this was a good idea.
My friends didn't particularly take part, it was mostly my sister and I.
Probably mostly me.
Probably mostly me.
I vaguely remember having a conversation with my Mum about it, her asking why on earth I'd want to kiss that many boys and me trying to explain that it was just for a laugh.
Obviously the thought of it now, in my slightly wiser years, makes me feel a bit queasy.
Sharing that many germs....ugh.
And the obvious lack of self respect.
Sharing that many germs....ugh.
And the obvious lack of self respect.
A tad off topic, but quite recently we had a slightly inappropriate moment when my 5 year old boy kissed a older boy goodbye after a period of time playing together. The next day we had a small conversation about who we should maybe save our kisses for.
I think the same applies here.
I think the same applies here.
Kisses shouldn't be for just anyone.
Earlier on Facebook I read an interesting meme which said that kissing induces the same feel good chemicals as cocaine. Whether it's true or not, I haven't investigated, but I know how I feel when I kiss my husband, I know that flood of.....what's the word, without sounding gross......yumminess. Whatever it is, it's completely lovely.
What kind of bothers me is that if I had a daughter, and she told me about this, would I let her go to the MegaDisco again?
No.
No I wouldn't.
At least not until she'd learnt to love herself more.
No.
No I wouldn't.
At least not until she'd learnt to love herself more.
(Yes, I can hear what you're thinking...she's a teenager, she'll find another way to do the hell she wants, she'll just not tell you anymore, etc, etc. Man am I glad I don't have any little girls!)
What worries me the most is, where does it end? A long list of snog mates? A few fumbles in dark corners? A quick bang round the back?
What worries me the most is, where does it end? A long list of snog mates? A few fumbles in dark corners? A quick bang round the back?
I can't help thinking this was the beginning of something horrible.
I wish I had know years ago that my self worth is not connected to who fancies me, how many boys I've kissed....and all the junk that goes with that.
Like a 'gateway' drug, is a kissing competition the start of a life of promiscuity? Possibly.
Like a 'gateway' drug, is a kissing competition the start of a life of promiscuity? Possibly.
Being a Mum is hard, so I'm not trying to be judgemental on my own, especially as her own Mother was such a rubbish role model, but I wish she'd loved herself more, and therefore shown me how to love myself more.
I wish I'd known how much I matter when I was younger. I would've enjoyed my younger years a hell of lot more! You know the saying, 'youth is wasted on the young'? It's so very very true. I spent years hating myself, searching for love and respect in all the wrong places, trying to find justification for the space I was taking up and all that useful air I was breathing. I spent years worrying about what other people thought of me, and using their twisted opinions as the basis for my self worth.
I wish I'd known how much I matter when I was younger. I would've enjoyed my younger years a hell of lot more! You know the saying, 'youth is wasted on the young'? It's so very very true. I spent years hating myself, searching for love and respect in all the wrong places, trying to find justification for the space I was taking up and all that useful air I was breathing. I spent years worrying about what other people thought of me, and using their twisted opinions as the basis for my self worth.
I wish, when we'd had that conversation about how many boys I'd kissed, I wish she'd pointed out how much more I deserved, how disrespectful it was, how the focus of my evening should have been my friends, having a good old boogie and a great night.
Not about boys.
Not about boys.
I wonder how many years of sobbing over the crappy things teenage boys do to teenage girls would have been saved if the nail had been hit on the head then.
Maybe none. Maybe most of them. We'll never know.
But one thing we know for sure. If we teach our kids self love and self respect, they'll be much better off for it. And the only way to teach those things is to practise it in front of them.
No one can fool a child into learning to love themselves when they know Mummy doesn't like herself that much.
So, go look in the mirror, find something you love about yourself.
Find something you're really good at.
Think about your great friends and family, and how much they love you.
Be happy with who you are not who you think you should be, and surely your small people will follow happily behind.
So, go look in the mirror, find something you love about yourself.
Find something you're really good at.
Think about your great friends and family, and how much they love you.
Be happy with who you are not who you think you should be, and surely your small people will follow happily behind.
