Smash Dude; Friend or Foe?

A few years ago I downloaded the game 'Smash Dude' on my phone, but it didn't last long before I deleted it. Sold as "hilarious stress relief", I decided I couldn't justify peppering a chained up guy with bullets as stress relief. I mean, he's chained up! And what did he ever do wrong anyway? What could have justified this?

The boys, who have inherited our old phones, have unfortunately found this game in my iCloud.

At first I was cross, but they both gave a rather persuasive argument about him not being real and therefore feels no pain. I think it's super mature of them to be able to define fiction from non-fiction. The ability to do so will certainly help them when they delve into the abyss which is teenager computer games and help stop them from being the kind of people who take one of those 'shoot 'em up' games too seriously.

Ed also gave me the argument that he's chained up so he must be a prisoner, but I simply explained that we don't treat prisoners like that.

My kids like to break stuff. I'm not going to say it's because they're boys, because I'm morally against sentences like that. Girls like to break stuff too. Look at the fun I had only three weeks ago breaking down a wall in my house.

You smash a brick with the lump hammer until the mortar cracks, then you take it out and start on the next brick. Now, that's my kind of stress relief!

They play together, which is always nice. Side by side they compare weapons and destruction. They collect coins to save up and buy more weapons.

But the holes in their argument crack when they figure out they can make him laugh hysterically by tickling him with a feather. They've also found they can smother him with kisses.

Taking some rest bite from Smash Due to watch a story book.

It has 2,448 reviews with an average of four stars. Most of the reviews imply it's a lot of silly fun, some of the lower ratings are actually from people who want more weapons and better sound effects rather than those who are simple disgusted.

It used to be rated 12, but it's now 17 years and over, so I presume Firezoo (the game creators) listened to complaints and raised it, but it doesn't really make that much difference.

Here are some of the reviews;

Torturing a dummy for fun? Outrageous!

I found my kid playing this game and I'm shocked. I think it's outrageous that this type of game even exists. Hitting, burning, electrocuting a human shaped dummy with a sad face is sickening. This game shouldn't exist because it encourages bullying and gives ideas of things to do just for fun. Horrible. It should be banned.

mari.rivers 30/12/13

Great but you should be able to put a face on him from a photo.

smurf159 3/9/13

I think of my bully I can't hit him but I can go on this app and imagine it's him and kill him.

hariv1 24/3/15

I broke his head off both his arms off and both his legs off :D best game ever.

epic lords 20/7/13

This is massively messed up! Whether or not 'sack dude' is real or not is irrelevant. This app encourages you to gain entertainment and pleasure from torturing a chained character. I don't see the need for this app and actually think is should be banned.

kcb-24 20/4/12

I've also discovered that Smash Dude has his own Twitter account, where not only does he advertise Firezoo's new games, he also reminds us that he can take it and he actually kinda likes it. Mmmmm...weird.

I think the boys like this app simply because they have control over cause and effect, in the same way they love the talking robot who copies what they say (mostly the word bottom!). They love collecting the coins to buy new stuff and they particularly like the lightening bolts, which I can kind of understand because it looks great. While the little wooden guy remains inanimate, I'm not too worried. Especially when they flit between that and Minecraft, then back onto cute story books.

I'll keep an eye on it. Mr Strawberry doesn't like it at all so they may just find it gone one morning and strict parental controls installed on their devices.

A friend pointed out that simply deleting it is a waste of an opportunity, especially since they can't pretend them haven't seen it. It would probably be better to use it as a chance to talk about our personal choices as to whether or not we are kind or mean. You can cover him in kisses, plasters and tickle him. Or you can shot the hell out of him.

What do you think? Should I stop being such a prude or do you think it's damaging?

Colourful paintballing and kisses.

The lightening is very pretty.

Or you can just throw snowballs.

Raising Girls Must be Easy

Girls have it so easy.

They get their choice of colours, hobbies and a massive array of clothing.

Clothes shopping for boys is rubbish. As a Mum of two boys, we have one section, hidden amongst rows and rows of girls clothes and accessories, and even then it's mostly dull trousers shrouded by overpriced marvel t-shirts.

Once again my five year old, Bean, has been in my closet and helped himself to my perfume because Mia (at school) is allowed to wear perfume and she apparently she smells nice. When I asked him how many sprays he had used, he admitted to five, maybe six. I feel like my overloaded nose might explode, but I can't really be angry with him.

We made him his own using essential oils. He chose a rather fruity, citrus smell, which he can over spray to his heart's content, though he is learning quickly that two will do.
In case you're intrigued; we made the perfume using a few drops of essential oils we simply liked the smell of added to 10ml almond oil, give it a shake, add 5ml glycerin and 5ml vodka, shake again then add cooled boiled water. Shake before use.

Whenever I take a few moments to put some nail varnish on, the always insist on having some too, so I let them wear it on their toes because I can't send them to school with it on their fingers; not because they're boys, but because I think it's against school uniform rules (ever the avid rule follower and I still haven't ever used nail varnish remover on their little delicate fingers). In the school holidays they can have it where ever they want. I just know even if it isn't against school rules, the teachers may pull them up on it anyway and I don't want them to be embarrassed, especially if it happened in front of the whole class. How can I explain to a five year old that some people think boys shouldn't wear nail varnish?

Last Christmas, Bean asked for a kitten. I wasn't going to invest in a real live cat as we already have a rather nervous dog who would not take well to an intruder, so I got him a toy kitten which purrs and everything. Of course it was from the girlie aisle in the toy store. And it had a little pink bow on it's head. My terrified husband, being the 'man's man' he is, requested I snip it off, but I forgot. Bean didn't notice the bow. He was only cross that it wasn't real.

A week or so ago, Bean was sad because a class mate had told him he couldn't go to Ashleigh's birthday party because she's having girlie pamper party. Little do these Mum's realise just how much he would've enjoyed it and how ostracised he felt being left out.

When chatting to some friends about this, one of them had a similar issue with a party her son wasn't invited to for the same reason but it just turned out to be a crafty party which her little guy would've have really enjoyed.

At this young age, I think they should have more freedom do to whatever they want to, wear what ever they want to. Let them learn who they want to be before piling on the social restraints of 'being a man'.

Ed, my seven year old, is very literally minded and likes to put things into boxes in his head. I haven't told him 'pink is for girls' but I guess the kids at school have because that's what he believes.
I find myself constantly reminding both my boys that there's no sensible reason to turn down everything pink or purple, letting girls have all the choice, leaving themselves two colours short. I tend to buy our plastic crockery in multi-coloured packs, so if nothing else it means the pink bowls get used rather than disregarded because (apparently) they're too girlie.

I used to clean a preschool for a few hours every day and sometimes, the boys would come with me. Ed would usually play Minecraft on his device but Bean would often reach for the giant Barbie house and spend his time dressing the dolls. He got a lot of joy out of it and I loved watching him but why did it feel like he was going against some kind of grain? 

Why did it feel so unusual?

Yes, he put Ken in a dress.

After doing a spot of internet research, I've come to the conclusion that I just don't give a damn.
The world can be cruel and kids can be truly horrid, I can't protect either of them from that. All I can do is provide them with a safe place where they can grow into whoever they want to be and ensure they know they can always come to me.
During my research, I came across a comment by someone whose parents were not supportive of her preferences. They told her she'd be picked on for her love of Star Trek, that it was too geeky, so when she was bullied at school, she found it difficult to stand up for herself simply because without her parents loving support, she presumed they were probably right. That's awful! 
I would much rather be the parent who says, yes, you might get picked on for your pink nail varnish but screw them! You do want you want, you're an amazing human being. I love you, your friends love you and some people can just be really small minded. They're wrong, not you. You are the only you....I could go on.

Don't worry, I'm not naive enough to presume girls don't have their own issues regarding gender, it just seems to me that its more acceptable for a girl to be a tom boy than for a boy to be girlie sometimes. This issue has a lot more facets to it than I can put into sentences, this is simply how it effects us day to day.

My main concern is raising two well-rounded boys, who won't judge other people for their own choices, who will ignore the opinions of bigoted idiots and be happy in their own sense of self.
Doing so without pushing them into gender opposing ideas is a fine line, but how will we ever be truly equal if there is a standard disregard for 'girlie' things by our little boys? If we let our little boys turn down nail varnish, or even bright clothing because 'it's for girls', how can we stop little boys saying football is only for boys?
If a boy is ridiculed for wanting to be a nurse or a carer, how will a girl feel when she goes for the CEO job?
Gender equality has to work both ways, but at the same time I won't be pushing my boys into donning the pink nail varnish. I'll let them do what they want, even if it is influenced by whatever the kids at school are saying. As a society, I think we've come a very long way in a short amount of time and we've become a lot more accepting of people and their life choices. Rather than pushing (and consequently making life difficult for my boys), I think I'd be better off letting it carry on evolving for the better. I'm pretty certain by the time Bean is in High School, people's attitude will be even further improved and if his preference for dressing well (and in the brightest colours he can find)........oh no.....I have to interrupt my sentence here because everything I'm thinking is a stereotype and I should know better than that. I'll put it this way; if Bean, or Ed for that matter, grows up and finds he prefers boys, he will know he is loved and I'm sure his school friends, whoever they may be, will support him in his choices.
Well, I hope so anyway.

Anyway, back to the subject of gender fluidity (yes, boys liking girlie things (the girls liking boy things) has been given a name), a few months ago, while watching David Walliams kiss Orlando Bloom on Comic Relief night, Bean exclaimed "I've never seen two boys kissing!" as though it was weird. 
I immediately replied with "Dude, you watched your Uncle marry a bloke only last Summer!" 
Cue a long conversation/rant about how love is love and it doesn't matter who you fall in love with.
Unfortunately, mid rant, it's difficult to get the balance right between ensuring my children know I'll accept them whoever they become and pushing what might be unnatural for them. I don't want to add to the confusion of teenhood. I don't want them to question who they are just because I gave them too many choices. Oh, it's so complicated and I'm concerned I'm saying this all wrong. 
All I want is for them to be happy. That's all.
And maybe I'll let them wear nail varnish on their fingers, it probably wouldn't do any harm to break a small rule every now and then...
I shall promise to worry less about what other people might think, trust my children to stick up for themselves and maybe not over think every little thing ;)