Silent Sunday

Knicker Flashing

Okay, so I don’t have any little girls, but if I did, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t flash their knickers in public.

When I pick the boys up from school, their teacher sends them to me, but after a brief hello they go straight to the trim trail in the playground and climb on it until I insist that actually, I’d really like to go home now, if only to feed them.

Boys and girls from both infants and juniors do the same, and there’s always some knicker flashing involved.

A friend of mine, when I expressed these concerns, told me she didn’t think it was any different from wearing a bikini, or playing on a beach in your pants. But I can’t help but think it’s about appropriateness. You wouldn’t let your kid go to school in a swimming costume would you? The only places you can go out in a bikini yourself is on holiday or those stupidly hot days, but it wouldn’t be round the Birmingham Bullring, it’d be round some tourist coastal town. And even prudish me has let the boys play in a local park paddling pool in just their pants on an unexpectedly roasting day.

My lovely friend also made a very sensible point that these days, kids are over sexualized. And she’s right of course, but for me it’s more about equality. There aren’t any boys flashing their pants, and why is that? Oh, it’s because they don’t have to wear a stupid skirt. In shorts or trousers, they are free to climb and jump and hang upside down without flashing their pants. Bellies maybe but not pants. Some of the older girls wear shorts under their skirts and that’s super, that’s how I spent my teenage-hood (there was a fair amount of skirt lifting when I was at school so shorts were the only way to go).

It’s not that I’m offended by the sight of underwear, I just feel bad for the girls. I would never let my boys flash their pants outside the house. I guess some parents of girls just don’t feel it’s an issue. Girls like to do handstands, cartwheels and dangle from the climbing bars too, and no-one should be stopping them. Maybe parents of girls just don’t get time to think in between frozen sing-a-longs, dance/martial arts class and the usual “Mummy, watch me, I made a dance up, watch me Mummy!” They should be applauded regardless because it must be a hell of a job. My memories of being one myself and watching my baby sister grow up tell me its a fuck load of drama.

I’ll be honest, if you come to my house, expect to see naked boys. I insist on underwear if we have a guest (even if it’s my sister) and clothes if it’s someone we don’t know very well (like when a SafeStyle salesman came to give us a quote).

But while only wearing underwear, they know only too well they aren’t to play in the windows or come to the door. I’m protective over their man bits because someone should be until their old enough to take charge.

And, just so you all know, I wouldn’t have a problem if my boys wear skirts if they wanted to, but I’d probably insist on a little pair of shorts underneath.

What do you think?

Raising a Big, Boisterous Boy.

Its 5am. 

I’m snuggling up to the cheeky 6 year old who has snuck into the parental bed again when I realize his feet are resting on my shins. 

When did my youngest get so huge?

Bean is growing at a phenomenal rate. Yes, I know, everyone says that about their children but Bean is something else I’m sure of it. His 7 year old brother is perfectly average, if not a little rounder in the bottom than most kids his age (presumably due to his annoyingly restricted diet). However Bean’s body, being 17 months younger, seems to have decided this growing up thing is in fact a race. 

At first clothes buying was easy, I’d buy a bunch of clothes and Ed would grow out of them just in time for Bean to grow into them.

There was a seasonal issue, in that Bean was wearing Ed's Summer clothes in Winter so his wardrobe would have to topped up with a few extra jumpers and jeans, but other than that it was brilliant.

This photo was my first clue. At just 3, Bean (left) was looking bigger than Ed (right) who was 4 and a half. I took a few of these photos, thinking the angle was all wrong and being confused by what I kept seeing on my camera display.

The hand-me-downs went on until we reached 4-5 years clothes, when there was a hefty overlap. By size 5-6 they were in the same size, making clothes buying literally twice as expensive. Thankfully by this age they were actually wearing the clothes out, rather than growing out of them before they got even the tiniest bit scuffed. I couldn’t have made Bean wear holey hand-me-downs anyway, so it didn’t matter so much.

Now they are both in 7-8 years clothes, despite the fact that they are in fact 6 & 7. The clothes that are tight on Bean, fit Ed perfectly, so the hand-me-downs are now going in the opposite direction.

My ‘little’ brother is built like a brick shit house, so it looks like Bean has ended up with a load of his genes which is odd because I thought he got his general hugeness from my step-dad…but they do look very similar both in appearance and mannerisms. I’d show you photos but my brother literally will not allow anyone to take a picture of him.

I started to see some actual problems when a house guest moved in. We have a two year old boy staying with us at the moment, and of course my boys love him to pieces but I keep catching Bean, in his usual over-excitedness, being a bit of a bully. I can’t accept bullying in my house, so I have had to spend some time explaining to him that he needs to be aware of what his body is doing and how it might feel to someone half his size.

I personally think, however young a child is, they should be allowed to express their own opinion on who invades their personal space and what happens to their body. It is their body after all and I think they should be encouraged to be confident enough to say no. Except if they have a really stinky nappy of course. Or teeth brushing issues. Actually anything personal hygiene related. That stuff just needs shoving into their daily routine.

Unfortunately for Bean, as well as being huge he is also extra (definitely more than usual) boisterous. He’s heavy handed, clumsy and playful.

So I asked him, if I backed him into a corner, even just to tickle him, would he not be intimidated as I towered over him? Yes he replied.

I’ve tried to explain to him, that as a big boy, bigger than most of his class (as his recent class photo shows), he needs to be extra careful. He needs to be aware of his body, where it is and what it’s doing to ensure not only the safety of other children but also their feelings too.

It’s perfectly possible I’m thinking about this too much, and it’s also possible he’ll plateau at some point and everyone else will catch up. Or he’ll end up like my brother, and 11lb baby who turned into a giant 22 year old.

Hopefully I’ll manage to raise a gentle giant rather than a boisterous beast of a man. Thankfully he has a heart of gold buried in that wide chest so it shouldn’t be too difficult.

I’ll continue to praise his kind acts, his sweet affection and remind him to be kind when I need to.

I am so looking forward to seeing the man he’ll become in a few short years.

Good luck raising yours too my lovelies xxx