I found this article through Facebook yesterday and it pissed me off.
I didn't get very far through it because I kept getting annoyed by their choice of photos for the 'aged' versions. They consistently chose hagged looking, double chin filled, make up free photos of people - who are, please remember, only humans - in their most harassed moments.
I think this kind of post only exacerbates our fears of growing old or fat, when at least one of those things - for most of us it's both - is completely inevitable.
So, I decided to do my own version.
We all have the potential to look amazing, in our own ways, so I think this kind of fear mongering is a waste of our precious time.
Let's look forward to growing old, if we are blessed with the chance to. Let's watch our children grow up and spend our time looking in the mirror and admiring our laughter lines rather than averting our gaze from our ageing faces, grey hairs and the occasional double chin.
I'm re-doing all the celebrities they felt the need to attack, in the same order. Compare to two if you like. I was going to make it easy for you and attach the photos they used, but no, if you want to see that crap, you're going to have to work for it haha. Click on the link above to see the bitchiness in it's fullness.
I don't follow celebrity-dom at all, I can't stand those awful magazines who write manage to write whole articles on a papped picture of a celeb when they nipped out to the store. I don't care what they're doing, they're all only human beings. I only care about what they get up to work wise, so this was a bit of a learning curve for me, discovering who got fat, who lost some weight, who's with who, etc etc.
I've chosen the best photos Google Images could find me, some of which were easy to chose and some which took forever. I tried to chose the 'oldest' looking photo I could find which I personally liked.
1. Jack Nicholson. Aged 77.
I love how Jack has kept his mischievous grin, especially that infamous hooked eyebrow and his manic hair seems to suit him so well.
2. Val Kilmer. Aged 54.
Yes, Mr Kilmer got fat. Who cares? When 'Google Image'ing him, I came across a really mean meme that had a picture of him with the caption "Hey guys, remember when I was Batman?" The internet can be so much like a playground bully grrrrr.
3. Mischa Barton. Aged 28.
Yup, another one who got fat. She has, I believe since lost weight again, but I don't keep track of these things. It was really difficult to find a nice picture of the chubby Mischa since Google is just full of stolen snapshots rather than anything she actually posed for, but I still think she's got a lovely face, even when she's rushing along clutching her frapp and her current read.
Also, she totally doesn't belong in this group as she hasn't aged, she just dared to put on a few pounds. Stupid internet trolls.
4. Sly Stallone. Aged 68.
Not sure where to start with this one...like his delightful Mama, he's possibly had a bit too much work done, but that's his choice. This was one of few viralscape didn't seem to be taking the piss out of.
5. Barbra Streisand. Aged 72.
Still stunning. And yet the photo viralscape used looked like they'd snapped her in her garden when she'd just woken up. Bra-less, hair scraped up, tired looking. Seriously, who does look good in the morning?
6.Billy Idol. Aged 58.
I love Billy. Just so you know. He's rocked my world for most of my life. He always will. Even as an aged rocker. I love that he still has that hair!
7. Boy George. 53.
George will always be gooky. And yes, he's another one who piled on the pounds much to the papers/internets sheer joy, but he seems to have re-created himself recently and is literally half the man he was. Good on him. The viralscape post is only two months old and yet George lost the weight in February last year. Now, that's not fair is it?
8. Carrie Fisher. 57.
Who says older women aren't beautiful?? There are so many dodgy photos of her, but given half the chance, she looks awesome.
9. Clint Eastwood. Aged 84.
The photo viralscape used was awful, but it didn't take me long to find this one. How can anyone think this face isn't completely enthralling? He still looks like a cowboy, but a cowboy who's seen much and knows much.
10. Vince Vaughn. Aged 44.
Both Vince's photos were terrible on viralscape, they could've chosen much better. Sure, he's a little extra rotund these days, but that's middle age for you. He always looks happy, even in the papp'ed shots, usually surrounded by his kids. I don't think that's anything to be ashamed of.
11. Wayne Newton. 72.
OK, so Mr Newton has possibly had far too much work done and it was a nightmare trying to find a decent photo of him. But that's Vegas for you I guess.
12. Arnold Schwarzengger. 67.
Of course he grew older, of course he couldn't look like that forever, why is anyone upset about this?
13. Axl Rose. 52.
Yet another one who grew a little chubby. There are some delightful memes with re-writes of paradise city involving bakeries and pies when I 'Google Image'd him. Quite funny, but mean all the same.
14. Dolly Parton. 68.
Thanks to her extensive efforts, Dolly hasn't changed that much. Thankfully, she hasn't gone the face like a bag of spanners route. She's true to herself and that's all that matters.
15. Eddie Van Halen. 59.
Aged rocker, still rocking. Epic.
16. Gary Busey. 70.
An amazing actor (in one of my favourite movies - Point Break) who always did have a bit of a crazy face, which he seems to enjoy, hence the sheer amount of open mouthed 'arrgh' photos. It's looking at little extra wonky these days, but his noggin has gone through some serious shit, with a motorbike accident and brain surgery to remove a tumour.
17. Geena Davis. 58.
Viralscape chose a frumpy photo which must be a fair few years old as Geena has apparently lost the weight they were mocking and now looks like this. Gorgeous!
18. Goldie Hawn. 68.
Viralscape used a horribly mean photo of the beautiful Goldie, obviously snapped while she was out for a jog. No need!
19. Hugh Hefner. 88.
Yup, he's 88. Yup, that involves having wrinkles. Still quite dashing though.
20. Jim Carrey. 52.
Not too shabby, and he still makes me laugh until a little bit of pee comes out.
21. Johnny Depp. 51.
He's just so pretty!
22. Kate Moss. 40.
Well, she is a model after all. Viralscape chose nicer photos for her.
23. Kirsty Alley. 63.
She put on a few pounds. Still hot here though. (I don't think I can ever show my husband this picture...he'd be all "Schwiiiiiing!")
24. Lindsay Lohan. 28.
It's easy to take the piss out of people with problems, especially drug addictions. Brush aside the eating disorders too if it makes it easier to be bitchy about her. She's still beautiful, however many drunken/loaded late night photos they snap of her.
She also doesn't belong here, she hasn't grown old (unless you count the child star part of her life, but then that's just grown up not grown old), she's just made a few terrible mistakes.
25. Lisa Robin Kelly. 43.
This one annoyed me so much for the simple fact that the poor woman died twelve months ago. The photo viralscape used was from the depths of her drug addiction. Nice.
26. Mark Hamill. 62.
Ahh his face was so pretty in Star Wars, the accident t'was a terrible shame. But he's still awesome. and part of an amazing nerdtastic legacy.
27. Mel Gibson. 58.
The viralscape photo was juts plain weird. He's so dashing!
28. Mickey Rourke. 61.
Another one who was really hard to find a decent photo of due to the seemingly extensive work, apparently due to boxing injuries.
29. Mike Tyson. 48.
Big lad ain't he.
30. Ozzy Osbourne. 65.
Still epic.
31. Pamela Anderson. 47.
She's a bit Barbie for my tastes, but she's true to herself, even if that is a bit saucy! Haha. You go girl!
32. Peter Frampton. 64.
I'm a bit young to know who he is, but there's nowt wrong with him, and viralscape weren't taking the mickey out of him at least.
33. Janice Dickinson. 59.
I suppose as a model, it's important to Janice to maintain her youthful looks by any means necessary, but that means the internet is chocca full of trout pout photos.
34. Richard Gere. 65.
Still handsome. Viralscape chose a photo of him enjoying the sea with a middle age mid-drift. Booo!
35. Robert Redford. 78.
I love this photo of him, it's so involving...those eyes just drag you in. Whoever took it, you're a genius.
36. Sean Penn. 54.
An interesting guy who's grown older beautifully.
37. Steven Tyler. 66.
I actually love Mr Tyler's look these days, sure it's a little piratey, but he's such an eccentric, he carries it perfectly. I think he's awesome.
38. Betty White. 92.
Soooo, I didn't know Ms White was a pin up girl...I accidentally saw some things (well two actually) I kinda wish I hadn't haha. She's a stunner, and old age has not changed that. Plus she's freakin hilarious!
39. Bono. 54.
Looking great.
40. Brad Pitt. 51.
Viralscape used an old photo of Brad 'avec' beard. Twenty five years later he still has a baby face.
41. Farrah Fawcett. 62.
Another one that annoyed me. Farah died over five years ago, but at 62 she was still gorgeous.
42. George Clooney. 53.
World renowned heart throb, and looking a lot like a certain famous Scotsman here.
43. Heather Locklear. 52.
Beautiful. Always will be. Viralscape had nice photos of her too.
44. Oprah Winfrey. 60.
Stunning.
45. Pierce Brosnan. 61.
In the article title, this is the one they were the most sad about apparently, which I personally think is stupid. Middle age mid-drifts are nothing to be ashamed of! Its happening to my darling husband as I type haha. It would take a lot of work to stop the inevitable happening, time better spent elsewhere in my humble opinion.
46. Simon and Garfunkel. Both 72.
Yup, they got older.
47. Madonna. 56.
Madonna is a person who has worked hard to get what she wants. We should be admiring her tenacity not taking the piss out of her.
So, that's all of them. I was tempted to add more but it would've taken me forever haha.
I don't want to live in a world full of wannabe seventeen year olds, let's embrace our wrinkles and saggy bits.
But try not to go out in your PJs, and spruce yourself up when you get the opportunity to, just to make you feel good about you!
None of these photos belong to me, they are all borrowed from Google Images, so I take no credit whatsoever. I don't benefit from this blog in the slightest, I write only for pleasure and it is all my own opinions. I'm truly sorry is anyone is offended by anything.
I can't promise these photos are correct or when they were taken. The celeb ages are taken from Wiki.
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