Sick Days with Un-sick Boys

When the boys had a delightful bout of poorly bums last night, the thought of a day off school brought a rather unexpected feeling in my tummy. I found myself a tiny bit excited about being able to spend time with them that wasn’t entirely taken up by getting ready for school, eating, cleaning, dressing, wiping bums, sleeping. I love our weekends together, full of cuddles on the sofa, lazy movie mornings and just watching them play together. I also love it when they are both at school, which at the moment is only one day and three half days a week as Bean is only at pre-school. I can get loads of housework done and sit at the sewing machine without someone under the table pressing the pedal unexpectedly when they aren’t here. And I love the silence.

But then the realisation that they would have to have 48 hours off school, plus the weekend, hit me and my main concern became the worry of how much they would miss out on. Bean is only missing an afternoon session, and I’m trying not to panic too much about Ed. He’s only in reception, so let’s face it, he mostly plays and sings songs all day, but he loves it. He loves his friends and his teachers and next week will hit hard after 4 days off.

I spoke to the school office and they have recommended he doesn’t come back until Monday. So that’s it. Two days off school with two boys who are completely well but might be hoarding a lovely tummy bug ready for sharing.

Also, I have two commissions to make, so I can’t bum around playing with Lego all day.

Ah well, the sooner I get these things made, the sooner we can go to the zoo.

Yet More Spectacular Tumbles

I just had to tell you about three other tumbles I’ve had.

I’ve probably had loads but I have a shockingly bad memory.

One of them hurt like hell but was a bit of a life lesson, one was highly embarrassing and occurred at a time of life I found it difficult to laugh at myself, the other was so very embarrassing at the time and is the only one where I actually got really hurt.

1. I have no idea how old we were but I would guess at late tweens/early teens. My sister and I were visiting an old auntie and she’d taken us out for the day to Southend-on-Sea. We had a really great day until while we were walking along the beach, we spotted a tide pool. We decided to walk along the wall all around the outside of it. We’d got around two of the three sides when all of a sudden my sister pushed past me. I fell into the pool, but as it was so shallow, all ten of my toes hit the stones at the bottom and crumpled the wrong way back.

Having reminisced about this moment since, she has finally admitted she’d pushed me in on purpose (after avidly denying it for years), she describes it as ‘like a big red button she just had to push’, but she was gutted I was so hurt. I cried all the way back to the bus stop and all auntie could say was; “in a while you laugh about this” which maddened me.

I was in so much pain I couldn’t possibly imagine a day I would laugh about it.

Of course, the whole thing is hilarious now.

Southend tide pool (image found on google)

2. One beautiful summer day I was walking round to my ex-boyfriends house to cut his hair for him (why, I hear you ask. I can’t answer. I was in pieces at the time). I had just crossed the road and just as a double decker bus chocca full of people passed me, I tripped and fell. The bus windows being open, I still remember the reaction from most of the people on it. Haunting. I was so very embarrassed. I turned up at my ex’s house in tears, with the knees in my trousers torn and covered in blood. Nice. That’s not exactly how I wanted him to see me. So, I was embarrassed twice by one fall. Ugh. He was very sweet about it and helped clean up my knees but I went home, patched up my trousers and stopped cutting his hair.

The tumble at the pet store reminded me of this one, simply because of the look of fear in the eyes of the staff member who came over to check on me. Everyone is so terrified of anyone suing, it has made our lives health and safety focussed, and in my view, a little annoying and dull. No one will take a risk for fear of it being expensive. But I have no intention of suing anyone, even though my tumble probably was down to the teeny tiny screws holding that crappy kennel together.

3. In 2004, I went to Alton Towers with some work friends. We were having the best day; we’d only been there about an hour and had just come off a particularly fun roller coaster, when I noticed our boss, lonely in his little carriage coming to the end of the coaster. I rushed over to take a photo of him and tripped on a little step, face-planting the floor.

As I got up my first concern was actually my face.

I’m not particularly vain but I didn’t want to spend the day with a gravel face.

Fortunately my face was absolutely unmarked despite the force it hit the ground with; my shoulder however was a very different story. I’d lost the skin from a 2x2 inch area and had to go get medical attention. I had to spend the day with a massive bandage on it and every time I went on a roller coaster that had the lift down shoulder harness it hurt like hell. I grit my teeth and got on with it, except we didn’t go on the new ride at the time ‘Air’ because it would’ve been too painful (what nice friends, plus the queues were obscene).

Despite my shoulder, we all had a fantastic day, and thankfully they were the kind of friends who were quite happy to laugh at me and take the micky.

A much younger me, sporting my bandage (which looks a lot smaller than I remember).
Everyone kept telling me I should sue since the step I tripped on was completely unmarked with no hazard strips or anything, but it just never felt right. I won’t lie, for years afterwards, when I was feeling particularly poor, I did consider it, but I’m glad I never did. I don’t think it does us any good to blame everyone else. I think the people who are so quick to sue, are also very quick to complain about rising insurance costs, crappy economy, etc etc.

So intend to carry on laughing at my own mistakes, not blame anyone else, and get on with enjoying life.

Please tell me about your tumbles, I’m dying to know if anyone else is as clumsy as me.

Nothing too tragic though please, only the ones that were silly and made you laugh.

Another Spectacular Tumble.

I am remarkably clumsy at the best of times and have had some rather fantastic falls in my time. 

I can’t work out if it’s due to my size, my oversized boobs, or just the way I hold myself, but generally speaking I can’t walk through a door way without either whacking into the doorframe or catching myself on the door handle.

Thinking back, I’d have to say my favourite falls of all time are;

1. I’d just moved to London and was cleaning my new kitchen floor with a dish cloth as I didn’t yet own a mop. I’d cleaned the whole area except where I was standing in the middle of the kitchen (I was new to this). As I inched over on tippy-toes so I left smaller footprints (obviously), I slipped on the wet floor. I was crouched down so when my feet slipped forwards my whole body fell backwards, landing on my bum and keeping momentum, I rolled all the way onto my back. I would’ve gone all the way over but my noggin got in the way. I was in fits of giggles and even though this was 12 years ago I can still remember just wishing wholeheartedly that someone had been there to witness it because it was beyond hilarious. But alas, like most of my time spent in that flat, I was alone.

2. One lazy Saturday morning I woke up, and like any normal person headed straight for the stairs to go down to make a cuppa. Those were the days we had cats and just as I’d got to the stairs Beorn wound round my legs. Concentrating on not standing on him, I lost my balance and fell down the whole length of the stairs, my bottom hitting every step and projecting me to the next one. Again, cue fits of incessant giggles. Justin had obviously heard it all from the bedroom and rushed out to find me straddling my 5 foot rubber tree (named Lucy, I had her for 6 years and she’d grown from 6 inches, she sadly died when we moved house after being left out in a frost, and still hasn’t been replaced #sob). It took a good half hour for me to stop laughing. I probably would’ve looked at the situation differently if I’d have known what I discovered the next day. I was in fact pregnant at the time, but Ed obviously held on tight.

So now, today’s fall is going to have to go into number 3.

Outside a pet store, I was checking out a dog kennel. It’s the kind that has a lid that lifts off, and I felt like it should be on a hinge but it wasn’t because it wasn’t lifting nicely. On reflection it probably just had another catch on the other side that I should have undone. Instead I hitched it open to peek inside at the price label, but a lovely combination of snow, grit, snow boots, shoddy workmanship and me, meant that of course the lid fell to pieces and I fell backwards. I landed on my bottom and rolled backwards all the way up to my shoulders, legs in the air. Very graceful and ladylike as usual. This time at least my sister and my youngest son Bean were there to witness it. A kind member of staff came rushing over having missed the fall but finding me on my back.

I was fine, I couldn’t stop laughing of course, but I was fine.

The lid it turns out, should’ve been screwed together, shouldn’t have fallen apart, but the screws were definitely too small and I definitely won’t be buying it.

I had to spend the rest of the afternoon, including the school run) in damp trousers with two lovely muddy knees (haven’t yet investigated my bum or the back of my jumper), but I don’t think anyone will have really taken much notice since I’m wearing my painting trousers today after a morning of re-decorating.

I’m still hoping it’ll turn up on YouTube though. It’d be a shame to put a good fall to waste again. 

The nation should’ve seen it.

I found this great image on google, it's an old French postcard and I think it sums me up, especially as just before the snow started a few days ago (thank goodness), I managed to empty my entire handbag in the road.

Ed's 5th Birthday

My eldest son Ed enjoyed his 5th birthday this week.
It's crazy to think it's been five years since I became a mother, how my world has changed! But I won't bang on about sleepless nights, cleaning up someone else's bodily functions or the severe lack of 'nights out' in my life now, I just couldn't let his birthday slide past without a mention. He had a lovely day, followed by a great party which left him with far too many new toys (which I now have to find homes for, straight after christmas too, what fun).
I love this photo because it epitomises how excited he was and how much he loved his cake, lovingly handcrafted by me.
Good times.
Thank you to all who came to the party, sent cards, gifts or well wishes xxx

Hissy Fits And Bad-Tempered Boys.

Please forgive the rather fragmented and badly written quality of this. I wrote it on Friday night after a very rough week with my little boys, but I’d thought I’d leave it as it is, as it is a completely honest view point from a tired mother who wants to do her best.

I’m feeling a bit blue, I’m probably just tired but there are a few things wigging me off.

The boys were ill during the last week of the school holidays and spent most of their time asleep on the sofa, Bean in particular. This first week back at school has been horrendous. The first few days, their appetite hadn’t really returned after being poorly so after school they were just tired, but then as the week progressed, they became super hungry and super tired. They have been impossible to live with and I feel like the few hours I get with them on school days consist of feeding, dressing and putting them to bed.

This is exacerbated by the fact that I've been trying to sort out my workroom; once the dumping ground of the house, it has been cleared out, shelving put in it and the entire contents of the room has either been thrown out or completely re-organised. Exhausting work, I've been going to bed around midnight and getting up at 6:30am, just to try and get through the workload, all self imposed of course, but once I get an idea in my head I need it done straight away.

So I’m not at my best and my priorities might be a bit skewed.

When I probably should be making sure they’ve had a drink, enough to eat, a wee, etc etc, I’ve been trying to squeeze in one more job.

It’s exhausting dealing with Ed in particular who has hissy fits about the smallest of things.

It’s constant.

Every little thing;

‘My hands are too cold’

‘My glove fell off’ (he threw it)

‘My legs don’t work’

‘I can’t walk’ (cue sitting on pavement)

‘I’m tired’

‘I’m not tired’

‘I’m hungry’

‘I don’t want to eat that’

‘I want a biscuit’

‘I need a wee’

‘I don’t want to do that’

‘I can’t do that’

If he’s not refusing to do as I have asked and having a screaming hissy fit, he’s sulking on the floor or ignoring me altogether. It’s so embarrassing.

The other day I put him in time out on the way home from school for giving me too much attitude. For four minutes I stood chatting to Bean while Ed sat on the pavement. The looks we got from passing parents! You’d have thought they’d understand, but I go by the theory that I’d rather be caught disciplining my child in efforts to raise a decent human being than being caught having my horrid child run rings round me. So screw the ‘looks’ and the judgement, I know I’m doing my best here.

The most frustrating thing at the moment is that I really wanted to start swimming lessons this week but how can I? I can only imagine the outcomes of adding a half hour swim and the stress of getting two tired and hungry boys in and out of swimmers on my own after a day of school. I can’t arrange them for a weekend because we go away weekends visiting family and friends quite often. Along with having the boys learn to swim, the other really important thing for me was that I would finally have the chance to swim regularly once again. Before I was pregnant with Ed I used to swim every week. I love swimming. I don’t go very often anymore because I can’t go alone with two children under the age of 5. So while they were swimming in the toddler pool, I’d planned to be swimming in the other pool and it would have been fantastic. I would get into better shape. Awesome. But I just can’t see how I can do it with these two, without there being some kind of junk food involved.

I can’t even get them out of the car on the school run.

This awful week has had two outcomes;

As it happens, something I used to do weekly has recently been cancelled, therefore freeing up some time, so I will be going swimming alone every week. Yay!

Also I have introduced the ‘yucky box’. On it is written horrid things my boys do (they helped me chose what would go on it; spitting, kicking, throwing toys, shouting at me, calling me names, ignoring me, etc etc). They are given an amount of 5p’s every day and every time they do something ‘yucky’ they have to put one in, knowing I will be spending the money on pampering myself and not on toys. It is proving very effective and actually a lot more expensive than I thought it would, so they can’t be as bad as I sometimes think....haha.

We’ve tried sticker charts and all sorts. They work for a bit then they lose interest but I figure if they know I keep trying to make them into nice humans, they won’t give up either.

So what kind of struggles do you have to put up with in your house?

And how do you deal with them?