Please forgive the rather fragmented and badly written quality of this.
I wrote it on Friday night after a very rough week with my little boys, but I’d
thought I’d leave it as it is, as it is a completely honest view point from a tired
mother who wants to do her best.
I’m feeling a bit blue, I’m probably just tired but there are a few
things wigging me off.
The boys were ill during the last week of the school holidays and spent
most of their time asleep on the sofa, Bean in particular. This first week back
at school has been horrendous. The first few days, their appetite hadn’t really
returned after being poorly so after school they were just tired, but then as
the week progressed, they became super hungry and super tired. They have been
impossible to live with and I feel like the few hours I get with them on school
days consist of feeding, dressing and putting them to bed.
This is exacerbated by the fact that I've been trying to sort out my
workroom; once the dumping ground of the house, it has been cleared out,
shelving put in it and the entire contents of the room has either been thrown
out or completely re-organised. Exhausting work, I've been going to bed around
midnight and getting up at 6:30am, just to try and get through the workload,
all self imposed of course, but once I get an idea in my head I need it done
straight away.
So I’m not at my best and my priorities might be a bit skewed.
When I probably should be making sure they’ve had a drink, enough to
eat, a wee, etc etc, I’ve been trying to squeeze in one more job.
It’s exhausting dealing with Ed in particular who has hissy fits about
the smallest of things.
It’s constant.
Every little thing;
‘My hands are too cold’
‘My glove fell off’ (he threw it)
‘My legs don’t work’
‘I can’t walk’ (cue sitting on pavement)
‘I’m tired’
‘I’m not tired’
‘I’m hungry’
‘I don’t want to eat that’
‘I want a biscuit’
‘I need a wee’
‘I don’t want to do that’
‘I can’t do that’
If he’s not refusing to do as I have asked and having a screaming hissy
fit, he’s sulking on the floor or ignoring me altogether. It’s so embarrassing.
The other day I put him in time out on the way home from school for
giving me too much attitude. For four minutes I stood chatting to Bean while Ed sat on
the pavement. The looks we got from passing parents! You’d have thought they’d
understand, but I go by the theory that I’d rather be caught disciplining my child
in efforts to raise a decent human being than being caught having my horrid
child run rings round me. So screw the ‘looks’ and the judgement, I know I’m
doing my best here.
The most frustrating thing at the moment is that I really wanted to
start swimming lessons this week but how can I? I can only imagine the outcomes
of adding a half hour swim and the stress of getting two tired and hungry boys
in and out of swimmers on my own after a day of school. I can’t arrange them
for a weekend because we go away weekends visiting family and friends quite
often. Along with having the boys learn to swim, the other really important
thing for me was that I would finally have the chance to swim regularly once
again. Before I was pregnant with Ed I used to swim every week. I love
swimming. I don’t go very often anymore because I can’t go alone with two
children under the age of 5. So while they were swimming in the toddler pool,
I’d planned to be swimming in the other pool and it would have been fantastic. I
would get into better shape. Awesome. But I just can’t see how I can do it with
these two, without there being some kind of junk food involved.
I can’t even get them out of the car on the school run.
This awful week has had two outcomes;
As it happens, something I used to do weekly
has recently been cancelled, therefore freeing up some time, so I will be going
swimming alone every week. Yay!
Also I have introduced the ‘yucky box’. On it is written horrid things
my boys do (they helped me chose what would go on it; spitting, kicking,
throwing toys, shouting at me, calling me names, ignoring me, etc etc). They are
given an amount of 5p’s every day and every time they do something ‘yucky’ they
have to put one in, knowing I will be spending the money on pampering myself
and not on toys. It is proving very effective and actually a lot more expensive
than I thought it would, so they can’t be as bad as I sometimes think....haha.
We’ve tried sticker charts and all sorts. They work for a bit then they
lose interest but I figure if they know I keep trying to make them into nice
humans, they won’t give up either.
So what kind of struggles do you have to put up with in your house?
And how do you deal with them?
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