Playing with Spiders.

I'm scared of spiders.
They make me feel a bit sick in my mouth.
But raising two children, I don’t want to let them know this, and I definitely don’t want them to feel this. So I try to be brave.

This happened yesterday.

Busy cooking dinner, I overhear chatter about a spider.
I wander into the living room to find Ed trying to scoop up a spider onto a tiny peice of paper.
The spider breaks my ‘bigger than a 50 pence piece’ rule.
Little bit of sick in my mouth.
“Please stop!” I yell.
Remembering that I have to be brave, I re-assess my attitude and say;
“We need to put him back into the garden where he lives. Let me go get a glass.”
So I run off frantically trying to find a glass and an envelope/piece of card, anything that will hold firm. I end up with the ‘too floppy for comfort’ leftovers of a notepad.
Having placed the glass over the spider, gently squeezed the paper underneath without breaking all eight of his legs, Ed then starts to sob.
“What’s wrong?” I ask
“I wanted to give him this spider house” he replies holding the tiny bit of paper, now folded in half to make a tent-like shape.
“So let me get this straight” I ask, “you want me to lift the glass, risk the spider running away, just so I can put the spider house in there?”
“I just want to see him walk through it” he sobs.
Great.
Oh my.
Somehow, from somewhere, I gather up my nerves and quickly lift the glass, place the spider house in and put the glass back down on top.
Phew.
Cheers then fill the house as the spider walks under the spider house, back out the other side.
Then I’m allowed to go put him in the garden.
I empty the glass outside the front door, finally happy with the situation until Ed announces that he needs the spider house back.
So I have to go out in the rain to collect a little crappy piece of paper, narrowly avoiding the spider who is making fast tracks straight back to the front door.
I think I got the door closed just in time.

I live in hope that I won’t always feel like this towards spiders. There were days when I wouldn’t have been able to do that and I would’ve just squished it. But I don’t want to raise kids who kill everything they’re sacred of. What would the world come to then?

Ed's spider house under the glass.

Butternut Squash Gratin Recipe.

Ok, so I'm not a great cook, but that's no reason to not try.

I loooove butternut squash, so I thought I'd try this recipe. It is super yummy.

I find it impossible to follow instructions to the letter, so of course I have tweaked it a little.
Here's my version of Butternut Squash Gratin. 
I apologise in advance for it's vague-ness. I'm sure I've said before, I belong to the dollop and slosh school of cookery. Feel free to blame my Mother.

Ingredients;
butternut squash, sliced
150ml double cream
tin of peeled plum tomatoes (or fresh if you have them)
3 garlic cloves, finely chopped (optional, but I put garlic into everything)
onion, thinly sliced
a slosh of olive oil
salt & pepper
tspn dried rosemary
grated cheddar cheese, just enough to cover the top

Throw everything into a baking dish and give it a good toss together.
Then cover with grated cheese, as much or as little as you choose.
For a better looking dinner, you could lay out the slices in nice layers, but I just left it as it landed.

Bake in the oven at 180˚C for about 1 hour 20 minutes.

I can't remember quite how long it took as I was busy with the boys at the same time. It also depends on how thinly you sliced the butternut, so just keep poking it with a fork until you're happy.

This one was a teeny bit over-cooked, hence the burnt edges, but it was soooo very tasty.

I hope you like it too! xxx

Ah, the joys of Photoshop.

Oh how I love Photoshop.
This is a photo of my boys wearing my bandanna scarves (available from www.etsy.com/shop/icanbeSuperMe) outside school one cold, wintery day.
I had recently made a batch and as usual, they nabbed one each for themselves. 
I always let them for two reasons; so I can take photos at random (I kind of prefer photos taken in natural circumstances) and because they make great walking advertisements. We always get compliments from strangers and I usually have flyers in my handbag haha.
Anyhoo, the original photo was lovely and colourful, but not entirely obvious as to what it was trying to sell, so I fiddled with it on Photoshop.

Very pleased.
Even more pleasing was the fact that the reason for making this batch was because I had received a request to make them in this larger size (they were originally only in 0-2yrs).
And it was my very first international order! How exciting!

Sneaky Sandwiches

This conversation really happened.
I'm so shocked I have to get it in writing asap.
This morning, as I helped Ed get dressed for school, he asked
"Have you made my lunch?"
"Of course" I replied.
"Have you made the sandwiches with the brown bread and the chocolate and peanut butter?"
(To explain; inspired by 'Embarrassing Fat Bodies' (Channel 4) I recently changed our bread from white, to 50/50, to brown, hoping they wouldn't notice too much. And he always eats peanut butter and chocolate spread sandwiches. Yesterday was the first day I put brown bread sandwiches in his lunch box.)
"Yes"
"I don't like the brown bread, I want the white bread"
"I didn't think you'd notice" I laughed.
"Actually" he said "I did eat it all (he did, it was all gone). It tasted the same as the white bread. I don't mind"
"Jolly good" I said.

Brown bread it is then.

Sick Days with Un-sick Boys

When the boys had a delightful bout of poorly bums last night, the thought of a day off school brought a rather unexpected feeling in my tummy. I found myself a tiny bit excited about being able to spend time with them that wasn’t entirely taken up by getting ready for school, eating, cleaning, dressing, wiping bums, sleeping. I love our weekends together, full of cuddles on the sofa, lazy movie mornings and just watching them play together. I also love it when they are both at school, which at the moment is only one day and three half days a week as Bean is only at pre-school. I can get loads of housework done and sit at the sewing machine without someone under the table pressing the pedal unexpectedly when they aren’t here. And I love the silence.

But then the realisation that they would have to have 48 hours off school, plus the weekend, hit me and my main concern became the worry of how much they would miss out on. Bean is only missing an afternoon session, and I’m trying not to panic too much about Ed. He’s only in reception, so let’s face it, he mostly plays and sings songs all day, but he loves it. He loves his friends and his teachers and next week will hit hard after 4 days off.

I spoke to the school office and they have recommended he doesn’t come back until Monday. So that’s it. Two days off school with two boys who are completely well but might be hoarding a lovely tummy bug ready for sharing.

Also, I have two commissions to make, so I can’t bum around playing with Lego all day.

Ah well, the sooner I get these things made, the sooner we can go to the zoo.

Yet More Spectacular Tumbles

I just had to tell you about three other tumbles I’ve had.

I’ve probably had loads but I have a shockingly bad memory.

One of them hurt like hell but was a bit of a life lesson, one was highly embarrassing and occurred at a time of life I found it difficult to laugh at myself, the other was so very embarrassing at the time and is the only one where I actually got really hurt.

1. I have no idea how old we were but I would guess at late tweens/early teens. My sister and I were visiting an old auntie and she’d taken us out for the day to Southend-on-Sea. We had a really great day until while we were walking along the beach, we spotted a tide pool. We decided to walk along the wall all around the outside of it. We’d got around two of the three sides when all of a sudden my sister pushed past me. I fell into the pool, but as it was so shallow, all ten of my toes hit the stones at the bottom and crumpled the wrong way back.

Having reminisced about this moment since, she has finally admitted she’d pushed me in on purpose (after avidly denying it for years), she describes it as ‘like a big red button she just had to push’, but she was gutted I was so hurt. I cried all the way back to the bus stop and all auntie could say was; “in a while you laugh about this” which maddened me.

I was in so much pain I couldn’t possibly imagine a day I would laugh about it.

Of course, the whole thing is hilarious now.

Southend tide pool (image found on google)

2. One beautiful summer day I was walking round to my ex-boyfriends house to cut his hair for him (why, I hear you ask. I can’t answer. I was in pieces at the time). I had just crossed the road and just as a double decker bus chocca full of people passed me, I tripped and fell. The bus windows being open, I still remember the reaction from most of the people on it. Haunting. I was so very embarrassed. I turned up at my ex’s house in tears, with the knees in my trousers torn and covered in blood. Nice. That’s not exactly how I wanted him to see me. So, I was embarrassed twice by one fall. Ugh. He was very sweet about it and helped clean up my knees but I went home, patched up my trousers and stopped cutting his hair.

The tumble at the pet store reminded me of this one, simply because of the look of fear in the eyes of the staff member who came over to check on me. Everyone is so terrified of anyone suing, it has made our lives health and safety focussed, and in my view, a little annoying and dull. No one will take a risk for fear of it being expensive. But I have no intention of suing anyone, even though my tumble probably was down to the teeny tiny screws holding that crappy kennel together.

3. In 2004, I went to Alton Towers with some work friends. We were having the best day; we’d only been there about an hour and had just come off a particularly fun roller coaster, when I noticed our boss, lonely in his little carriage coming to the end of the coaster. I rushed over to take a photo of him and tripped on a little step, face-planting the floor.

As I got up my first concern was actually my face.

I’m not particularly vain but I didn’t want to spend the day with a gravel face.

Fortunately my face was absolutely unmarked despite the force it hit the ground with; my shoulder however was a very different story. I’d lost the skin from a 2x2 inch area and had to go get medical attention. I had to spend the day with a massive bandage on it and every time I went on a roller coaster that had the lift down shoulder harness it hurt like hell. I grit my teeth and got on with it, except we didn’t go on the new ride at the time ‘Air’ because it would’ve been too painful (what nice friends, plus the queues were obscene).

Despite my shoulder, we all had a fantastic day, and thankfully they were the kind of friends who were quite happy to laugh at me and take the micky.

A much younger me, sporting my bandage (which looks a lot smaller than I remember).
Everyone kept telling me I should sue since the step I tripped on was completely unmarked with no hazard strips or anything, but it just never felt right. I won’t lie, for years afterwards, when I was feeling particularly poor, I did consider it, but I’m glad I never did. I don’t think it does us any good to blame everyone else. I think the people who are so quick to sue, are also very quick to complain about rising insurance costs, crappy economy, etc etc.

So intend to carry on laughing at my own mistakes, not blame anyone else, and get on with enjoying life.

Please tell me about your tumbles, I’m dying to know if anyone else is as clumsy as me.

Nothing too tragic though please, only the ones that were silly and made you laugh.

Another Spectacular Tumble.

I am remarkably clumsy at the best of times and have had some rather fantastic falls in my time. 

I can’t work out if it’s due to my size, my oversized boobs, or just the way I hold myself, but generally speaking I can’t walk through a door way without either whacking into the doorframe or catching myself on the door handle.

Thinking back, I’d have to say my favourite falls of all time are;

1. I’d just moved to London and was cleaning my new kitchen floor with a dish cloth as I didn’t yet own a mop. I’d cleaned the whole area except where I was standing in the middle of the kitchen (I was new to this). As I inched over on tippy-toes so I left smaller footprints (obviously), I slipped on the wet floor. I was crouched down so when my feet slipped forwards my whole body fell backwards, landing on my bum and keeping momentum, I rolled all the way onto my back. I would’ve gone all the way over but my noggin got in the way. I was in fits of giggles and even though this was 12 years ago I can still remember just wishing wholeheartedly that someone had been there to witness it because it was beyond hilarious. But alas, like most of my time spent in that flat, I was alone.

2. One lazy Saturday morning I woke up, and like any normal person headed straight for the stairs to go down to make a cuppa. Those were the days we had cats and just as I’d got to the stairs Beorn wound round my legs. Concentrating on not standing on him, I lost my balance and fell down the whole length of the stairs, my bottom hitting every step and projecting me to the next one. Again, cue fits of incessant giggles. Justin had obviously heard it all from the bedroom and rushed out to find me straddling my 5 foot rubber tree (named Lucy, I had her for 6 years and she’d grown from 6 inches, she sadly died when we moved house after being left out in a frost, and still hasn’t been replaced #sob). It took a good half hour for me to stop laughing. I probably would’ve looked at the situation differently if I’d have known what I discovered the next day. I was in fact pregnant at the time, but Ed obviously held on tight.

So now, today’s fall is going to have to go into number 3.

Outside a pet store, I was checking out a dog kennel. It’s the kind that has a lid that lifts off, and I felt like it should be on a hinge but it wasn’t because it wasn’t lifting nicely. On reflection it probably just had another catch on the other side that I should have undone. Instead I hitched it open to peek inside at the price label, but a lovely combination of snow, grit, snow boots, shoddy workmanship and me, meant that of course the lid fell to pieces and I fell backwards. I landed on my bottom and rolled backwards all the way up to my shoulders, legs in the air. Very graceful and ladylike as usual. This time at least my sister and my youngest son Bean were there to witness it. A kind member of staff came rushing over having missed the fall but finding me on my back.

I was fine, I couldn’t stop laughing of course, but I was fine.

The lid it turns out, should’ve been screwed together, shouldn’t have fallen apart, but the screws were definitely too small and I definitely won’t be buying it.

I had to spend the rest of the afternoon, including the school run) in damp trousers with two lovely muddy knees (haven’t yet investigated my bum or the back of my jumper), but I don’t think anyone will have really taken much notice since I’m wearing my painting trousers today after a morning of re-decorating.

I’m still hoping it’ll turn up on YouTube though. It’d be a shame to put a good fall to waste again. 

The nation should’ve seen it.

I found this great image on google, it's an old French postcard and I think it sums me up, especially as just before the snow started a few days ago (thank goodness), I managed to empty my entire handbag in the road.

Ed's 5th Birthday

My eldest son Ed enjoyed his 5th birthday this week.
It's crazy to think it's been five years since I became a mother, how my world has changed! But I won't bang on about sleepless nights, cleaning up someone else's bodily functions or the severe lack of 'nights out' in my life now, I just couldn't let his birthday slide past without a mention. He had a lovely day, followed by a great party which left him with far too many new toys (which I now have to find homes for, straight after christmas too, what fun).
I love this photo because it epitomises how excited he was and how much he loved his cake, lovingly handcrafted by me.
Good times.
Thank you to all who came to the party, sent cards, gifts or well wishes xxx