When Is It Not Funny Anymore?

I haven’t written in a while, I've been a bit too busy to feel inspired to, but after reading this blog post, too many thoughts began to whirl around in my head. 
http://www.workingmotherchronicles.com/2013/03/what-we-must-learn-from-steubenville.html

This is the newspaper article refered to; 
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/18/us/teenagers-found-guilty-in-rape-in-steubenville-ohio.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&

It started in the first year of high school. Most girls wore shorts under their skirts because the boys would all lift the girl’s skirts.
The whole ‘boys will be boys’ thing is ridiculous.

If, for example, a bloke lifted a woman’s skirt repeatedly in the workplace, he’d get charged for sexual harassment.

Or would he?

Would she just be seen as a moaning bitch with no sense of humour?

Quite recently, someone I care about was harassed at work.

Every day a particular person would comment on her dodgy parking.
It progressively got worse and worse.

He started to take photos of her parking every day.

Then he began waiting in the car park, just so he could watch her park, photograph it, then ridicule her all day for it.

She got to the point where her parking was even worse than usual (yes, it wasn’t that great to begin with, even she’ll admit that) simply because she felt so under attack.

Great prank uh?

I think this is the kind of thing you could do your bestest of friends, in a light-hearted manner, but not to a work acquaintance whom you don’t have that much fondness for.

Then it’s just malicious.

Of course, she explained to her superiors what was happening and they simply took his word over hers. She ended up on a stupid course to help her ‘improve her self-esteem’ (not required, trust me haha) and he suffered no consequences. She’s left feeling ostracised just because he crossed the line.

I’m not particularly beautiful but I've always had massive boobs.

I remember a particular incident in high school when the boys lined up to sit sideways from me. When I worked out why, I was shocked. It was all about checking out the profile of my boobs. For crying out loud.

I was sixteen.

Living in London, surrounded by men of various cultures, there were some who clearly viewed women as a play thing. There was no respect in their tone when they spoke to me, being an absolute stranger walking past, suggesting that I might be up for a good time.
 Don’t be fooled, I wasn’t wearing clothes which as a girl growing up “makes you look like you’re begging for it”. I was a rock chick, baggy jeans, wallet chain, black tee, huge hooded jacket and a frick load of black eyeliner. 
I could never understand what made these blokes think they could look me up and down like a piece of meat, what made them think they could presume I’d be interested, what made them think I the kind of girl to drop what I was doing, be it meeting friends or going to work, and go some place with them. 
Are there girls like that? 

And maybe there are a few girls like that, but mostly, we’re trying to catch a bus.

Why is it ok for a man to pinch a woman’s bum as she passes him in a crowded bar? I’m not going to buy the whole ‘if you go to places like that...’ thing. I think it’s only that we, as women, are often encouraged to ignore it or see it as a compliment that these things carry on happening.

But where is the line drawn?

“While we’re waiting for that to happen, perhaps the rest of us can make sure that we don’t dismiss all teasing as “not a big deal” because I think that if we learn anything from Steubenville, let it be the realization that this rape was the result of years of indifference.  Not only do we need to raise women who can rise above the words they’ll encounter, but we need to raise men who will recognize that a woman’s sexuality is not a joke.” 
Written by Erin in her blog entry; ‘What We Must Learn From Steubenville’ 18/3/13

I will never let my boys grow up to think they own a woman, or that a woman owes them anything. Thankfully, their father was brought up by his grandfather and retains some of his old-fashioned values. He is happy to help around the house and he sees my job and a house wife & mother as a 24 hour job, and therefore when he finishes work, is happy to pitch in, however exhausted he may be. He will make a fantastic role model for them both, and I hope they will become men who respect women as equals.  
But not only that, I hope that they will become men who treat everyone with respect. 
Men who know how far to take a joke, when to stop. 
Men who can stand up for themselves and say no.
Men who can stand up for others and not be indifferent or blasé about someone else's feelings. 

I’m not saying they’ll be perfect, but I do like a tryer.

(Please note; I'm not going to be one of those women who lets you think my life/husband/kids are perfect, they are not. Whatever I have said about my husband here, though true, doesn't leave him fault-less haha).

The Incessant Questions of a 5 year old.

I have posted in a while so I thought I ought to. 
I have been a bit distracted making future plans and finishing a set of flags for our local colour guard dance troupe, so I haven’t had much to say, but I thought I’d mention the small things that have been bubbling away with us. 
  
The first is that Ed brought home a very precious piece of paper with what might be his first written sentence. I spoke to his teacher this morning and it turns out he may have done it completely alone in his play time which makes it even more amazing. I photocopied it and took a photo quickly (he likes to fold up pieces of paper and they always end up washed in his trouser pockets).

Translation; “I am flying”.

I’m so proud of him.  

My other thought this week is about the constant stream of questions.

Ed is always asking questions, and even at the most inappropriate times, like when I’m trying to get him to go to sleep or eat his breakfast, I always try to answer him to the best of my ability, because I think it’s important to encourage him to explore his world and learn as much as he can from it. At this young age, I’m not going to stifle him.

Today’s question, as we walked to school, was;

“Do spider’s poo?” 
I’ll be honest, I had no idea. My thinking theory was that because they liquefy their food, maybe they are super efficient and have no waste. I have since learnt that apparently there is one basic in life; if it eats, it poos. 
I have Googled it and I look forward to telling him when I pick him up from school that yes, they do poo. They expel both urine and faeces at once in a kind of paste. Although I have never knowingly come across it, according to the answers I got on Google it seems to cause cleaning problems for boat owners and shed tidiers. I don’t have enough time to look into it more thoroughly, so I might be slightly misguided but hey ho, I’ve answered his question. 
It’s safe to say I’m not going to be looking for spider poo around the house or in the sheds (where there’s spider poo, there’s spiders). 
Anyhoo, I think it’s bloody marvellous that as a parent, thanks to the brilliant advances in technology, we are armed against all the strange and sometimes silly questions our children ask us. 
Only the other night as I tucked him into bed, he asked me what ‘these bones are’ poking his ribs. I was able to Google it on my phone and show him pictures of his Skelton and what lay behind his ribs to explain why they are there. Amazing.

I know this has all been said before, but I’m so grateful for my iPhone. It’s educating my kid’s one question at a time and they when they need it, it entertains them with its many young child friendly games.