Short Story - The Adventures of a Garden Spider.

Inspired by a short story I heard last week and an actual event which happened to my little boy last Summer. I may have written it in my head at 4am...it's a little random but I hope it gives you a little joy.

My home was the safest, most beautiful place I’d ever found.

I’d been there for years.

Tucked away in the corner, at the end of a long, thin garden, where the ivy and the hawthorn had grown so thick and so dense that even the smallest of birds had trouble getting inside and therefore my carefully laid plans were left uninterrupted. There was plenty of food milling around too so I never needed to leave my safe abode.

There was also a dog who lived in the garden, a nervous little thing who barked at everything, especially the birds, which kept them away from my area so I didn’t mind her noise at all. They stuck to the safety of the tall trees along the side of the garden, where they were free to nest in peace.

It was perfect.

That was, until the noises changed.

The old dog was gone.

The elderly couple no longer sat on their green, wooden bench near the back door.

A new family must have moved as there was lots of hustle and bustle. The house smelt different when the back door opened.

Everything was changing; the tall trees along the side were chopped down, making my dark corner annoyingly brighter. The birds, at a loss, attempted to nest in my home, but to no avail, thank goodness! So, they went elsewhere and everything was quieter for a little while.

One day a huge wooden shed was erected right next to my home, and it was great because made my little corner even darker and more sheltered than ever before. There was more food and more dark corners to hide in. I thought things couldn’t get any better, but I never considered they’d get much, much worse.

All of a sudden everything changed.

There was noise underneath me, the ground was being cleared. Then great big chunks of my home were being removed. As the human grabbed a handful of ivy, so intertwined it was with the hawthorn, each ivy tendril clinging on to the thorny hawthorn branches around it, it tore huge holes in my domain. Light poured in and my favourite hunting spots were vanishing quickly. I tried not to panic, but kept on the move, trying to stay out of sight.

There were more humans now, smaller ones, presumably their young. They move faster and with a lot more noise.

They stopped removing my precious home, leaving what was left of the overgrowth to create some kind of roof over what they called their new den.

Except it wasn’t their den. It was my home.

I kept moving, trying to find a quiet spot out of sight. But they were everywhere.

Without any warning, a small boy brushed past me, knocking me off the branch. I fell into a strange, dark place. It was warm and so unlike home, but I couldn’t work out where on earth I was.

Hours past.

I felt the sun go down.

The place I was in kept moving, like the walls couldn’t keep still. I had to roll up as small as I could to avoid losing a leg. I had to try to predict where the next gap would be as another set of walls closed in on me. And the heat, I’d never known anything like it. Not even the brightest sunshine of the hottest British Summer day was ever this hot.

“I’ve got an itch” I heard someone say.

Suddenly, everywhere was flooded with light, I couldn’t see for a moment but I could hear the screams.

I felt myself drop to the floor, the moving walls gone; I was surrounded by nothing but air. I stretched out my tired legs just in time to see a large glass land perfectly over the top of me. Pulling my legs in and adjusting them as a piece of paper slid between the glass and the floor, trapping me inside.

The humans were still very noisy, and now they were peering at me in shock through the glass.

“You had that in your pants all afternoon?” yelled a woman.

“It’s huge! How did you not notice that?”

I felt movement, heard a window open, then suddenly the paper was gone and I was falling through the open air.

It was a long way down, but I landed with a soft thud on the grass below and welcomed the darkness of the night, the fresh air and the freedom to finally go and find myself a new home.

Maybe one of these sheds will do…

Silent Sunday

Happy Mother's Day to You All

In the spirit of supporting women of all kinds, at all different stages of their lives, amid their own decisions and life choices, I wanted to say Happy Mother's day to you all, whether you are a mother or not (in the literal sense).

To all the Mummy's who are expecting, I'm so excited for you! Your life is about to change dramatically and although things probably won't work out how you envisaged it (sorry to say), it will be a lot of fun.

To all the women who have fought against infertility and miscarriages, and all the poking and prodding that goes along with that, my heart goes out to you.

To all the Mummy's who have a newborn, I know its arduous. The constant feeding and wiping can get really dull, but trust me it's worth it and it'll be over before you know it (and certainly before you're ready for it to be).

To all the women who have been through abortion or putting children up for adoption, I respect your personal decisions. You've made some tough choices and I'm sorry things have been hard for you.

To all the Mummy's with young children, it's chaotic and messy, but enjoy their silliness, honest cuddles and sloppy kisses.

To all the Mums who have lost a child, I'm truly sorry. There aren't words...

To all the Mums of teens and pre-teens, though I haven't been through that stage with my own, I remember being one myself and I know it's a minefield, but I'm certain you're doing a fabulous job amid the tantrums and strange smells.

To all the Mums whose children are leaving the family nest, I hope you are enjoying your new found space and freedom, despite how horribly empty your house might feel. you've got through the big part of your job, now it's time to get on with your own stuff and wait for the phone calls...

To all the women who are still waiting for their lives to take the baby turn, give it time.

To all the women who've lost their own Mum, my heart goes out to you.

To all the women who are surrounded by 'non-biological' children, you're awesome! 
Whether you're an Auntie, a foster Mum or a second Mom to your best friend's kids, you enrich their lives.

And finally, to all the women who've chosen not to have children of their own but keep a watchful and loving eye over their family and friends, I respect your decisions and I hope you don't let anyone tell you your life is in any way incomplete or wasted just because you chose not to reproduce.

My Mother's Day Cards

Yay! Thanks to school I have Mothers day cards I didn't help make myself. 

I love little surprises and use any opportunity I can to let people keep secrets (the nice kind) from me at Christmas, on my birthday, Valentine's day and Mother's day.

I knew they must have making them because on Wednesday Bean had paint all over his sleeve and when I asked about it he replied;

"Mother's day cards". 

Ooops Bean, don't think you were supposed to tell me that...

So, on Friday, Ed, who is very precious about his surprises and hates them to be ruined in any way, came out of school with something stuffed inside his coat. We walked to the car as he gave Bean and I strict instructions to go straight into the kitchen when we got home. However, he must have got overexcited and when we got home, before we'd even walked through the door he asked me if I wanted it early, then gave it to me before I had a chance to answer.

Now, I'll be honest, Ed spends a fair amount of time telling me I don't love him, and he's written me notes that say something along the lines of; 

"I love you but I don't think you love me" 

So I had expected his card to be full of: 

"You don't love me, you've never even liked me, you're an asshole"

Instead, I got this...

Translation; Dear Mum, Happy Mother's Day. I love you lots, from Ed.

Bean's card was stashed in his homework bag, and when given permission to remove it, I found this.

I seriously never expected this.

When I asked for a translation of '1psent min' I literally laughed out loud and asked why on earth he'd put that. Bean is always so loving and sweet, it was a surprise to see this written in his beautifully hand-painted card. 

Apparently, it's very simple. 

The morning he wrote his card out at school was the morning I wouldn't let him have crisps for breakfast.

Mommy, you are 1 percent mean, from Henry
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Now I don't need flowers or chocolates, instead I have two little boys who I know will never hold back and always be honest about their feelings, however, Ed decided it was inappropriate to write something mean in his card, which I think is an excellent notion to have at just seven. 

What great kids I have. I'm one lucky Mummy.

But Martin! Workbook: Free Printable

I made this for my boys after reading But Martin! to them at bedtime.

I've always loved this book, I remember my Mummy reading it to me when I was little.

Feel free to print it off for your little ones too 

(just right-click on each photo, save as a j-peg file & print).

Let me know what you think of it x

Supermarket Zoo Day: Kid's project with Free Printables

Available here

Ed & Bean love this book, although to be honest I'm not it's biggest fan and often leave Daddy to read it if they choose it (haha). Reading it aloud requires far too much fake enthusiasm which I just can't muster having read it quite a few times now. There are books I'll never run out of beans for, but this just isn't one of them. But that's just my humble opinion and it certainly doesn't effect the boys excitement for it.

So I spent last night sorting out some print outs for them. I found these great printables online and put these together;

stickers 1

stickers 2

stickers 3

Please feel free to use these, simply right click, save & print them off A4 size, cut them out and stick them onto a trolley/shopping basket of your own. I made extra stickers and other animals for them to play with.  

shopping list

word mat

So, armed with the shopping list I photocopied out of the story book, the boys glued the right amount of animals onto the trolley (I had a proud Mummy moment with Ed as he counted down how many monkeys we needed, for example, when we had 4, he said we needed 2 more without even thinking about it, etc, etc).

When they were done with that, I gave them their own shopping trolleys, shopping lists and the other printables to do with as they chose. They stuck the left over stickers onto their trolleys and shopping lists, choosing which animals they would like to buy if they could.

The bags and boxes were a much bigger hit than I had predicted, Ed drew some lovely tins and stuff. He drew a shelf full of "baby Christmas trees for people to take home, water and care for them", and another shelf of other kinds of plants. He must be plant focused at the moment because he has been helping me with my salad growing. 
Even Bean 'drew' some hoops (their favourite breakfast cereal) on a box.

Our display. Once again I've ran out of pockets :/

This impressed me no end.
I don't push Ed into 'writing practise' or anything, but I'm always on the lookout for moments when he's happy to have a go at anything and help in any way I can. I printed off these price stickers for them to decide how to use, and Ed immediately attempted to write a number in each box. His first attempt was actually thwarted by a bump from Bean and a hissy fit, so I printed another sheet off and left it on the table. Later on, he had another go. The numbers he was unsure of, he asked me about and I provided him with a laminate sheet I did ages ago with 1-100. Awesome.

The images I've used for these printables are not mine but I ask for nothing in return, only that you have lots of fun with your small people.

Cereal Box Marble Run: How to

I recently spotted this on Pinterest & had to try it with my marble loving boys.

We spent what felt like weeks collecting toilet rolls & cereal boxes, then finally we had enough to make two.

 

 It has a trap door at the bottom, so the marbles don't come tumbling straight out & a hole in the top.

Then, when we came to make Ed's, as impressed as he was with Bean's, he wanted a marble maze instead. 

So I asked him to draw a track on the cardboard, which then had to be slightly amended on the parts where it was too close together and we added extra routes where there were gaps.

I tried to make it using the loo rolls, but there wasn't enough, so I had to make amends with the spare cereal box, which turned out much better and far easier to put together.

Oh, I cant tell you how much I enjoyed making this!
This one also lasted a lot longer than the loo roll one.

 

 It has a hole at one end, then a trap door in the other so if he fills it, he only has to control one hole. 

As soon as I made it, he put all the marbles in haha.

 Sooooo much fun! Go make one!

Baby Number Three?

One of the great things about being me is that I feel big emotions for short spurts of time. When things are good, they're really good, and when things are bad, they're really bad. This seems to fit with motherhood because my kids seem to run on similar mood swings. My days are full of moments when I look at my kids and think; "Bloody hell, you're beautiful!" When we stop for five minutes and have a snuggle on the sofa, it's the best five minutes of my life.

I don't want to dwell on the bad moments, mostly because I don't remember them. But I did once contemplate, for a millisecond, crashing the car just to make the fighting in the back seats stop. I don't let it get to me because even in the depths of a bad bit, I know there's a good bit around the corner.

This makes the decision to have a third child difficult because I change my mind on a hourly basis, and once the deed is done, I can't ever take it back.

Almost three years ago, it was my main goal. I wanted to lose all the previous baby weight so I could have the pregnancy I'd dreamed of without the overzealous doctors complaining about my weight. I was working out at the gym three times a week with the image of a growing human as my inspiration. I never succeeded with the weight loss because I enjoy eating too much but that's not why I gave up on the baby dream. I gave up over a year ago because I realised how difficult I was finding being a mother of my two little boys. I was struggling to home educate them, while running the house, ignoring my online business and entering into the mission that is getting Ed's diagnosis.

Now they're back at school, life is of course very different. I get a lot of time to work on my own stuff and the boys are settled into the routine of school runs and the like but there are still moments when I really struggle with my boys, like at bedtime or when we're out. Moments when an extra person to worry about would be way too much for me to cope with. How can I round after them in the store with a buggy? How can I get them to settle at night when they're having a mad half hour and I've also got a hungry baby to contend with? Of course Mr Strawberry would help a lot, but those moments are already super stressful. 

Despite this, as I head swiftly to my late 30's, the inner panic of losing my fertility is rising. For some reason my head just keeps coming back to the idea of having another baby. When we got married, we wanted to have a big family. We are both from large families and we'd planned of having four ourselves. This plan changed when we'd had two children 16 months apart, promising ourselves we would never do that again.

My biggest problem is that I am super gullible. I can be sold a dream in less than two paragraphs. I'm also a bit of a fantasist. So all this imagery the media throws at us fools me every time. Beautifully airbrushed mothers with their chubby little babies, laughing and playing in their sparkly clean homes. I know it's not real, I know, but it's a nice dream.

Only the SMA TV advert is truly honest. It shows those moments when you might think 'this might all just too much for me to cope with'. Those moments like when you're ready to leave the house finally, having packed the equivalent of a weekend away only to find the little monster has done one of those poos, the one when it goes all the way up his back. 

So, do I really want to enter back into a world of nappies, crying, sleepless nights and living with a little human who has no sense of reason? I know what real sleep deprivation is like and what it does to your mind. I know what shower fear is, that guilt and worry you feel when you're finally taking five minutes to wash your hair. I've listened to my baby scream constantly as I washed the skanky breast milk from my stinky body (I leaked...a lot). But it's all just temporary. 

As bad as it got, it's gone now. 

I love that on Sunday mornings, while I lay in bed, my little ones take themselves downstairs and fetch themselves some breakfast. I love that they are perfectly capable of fixing themselves something to eat (I'm always listening out, forever the worrier, but you should see their faces when I come downstairs to find them chomping away). They are quickly turning into reasonable and independent men and I love it. I have loved watching them grow, establish their personalities, and change from a squishy little squeaky things to learning how to be grown men. 

And that's the pinnacle of parenthood: watching them grow. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have another human to observe. 

A few fellow mothers I know well enough to have this conversation with would also love to have another baby, but are terrified. Life with two small children is hard enough, and they worry they won't be able to cope with an extra person. And rightly so. Especially if you have children who appear to be a little extra high maintenance. 

But what if having a house full of giggles and silliness is what you want? Of course it will also be full of demands of more food, dressing children in clothes only to realise they've grown out of them...again and the nightmare that is instilling a bedtime routine.

And there are of course Mums I know who are doing a fabulous job of raising a large family.

As cute as babies are, they need you 24/7. Sounds do-able until you realise just how draining that is. After six weeks of hard work, those first smiles are pretty much guarrenteed to be aimed at someone else and when he learns to talk, he'll say Dada and Nana way before he says Mama.

Everything will always need wiping, food splashed all over the walls, carpets pee'd on, but you won't have the energy or the inclination to bother. Cleaning a house with children in it is like trying to bail out a boat with hole in it using a teaspoon.

I'm finally starting to gain control over the cleanliness of our home and having a new baby would change all that, which in turn would literally depress me. I need my surroundings to be clean and tidy-ish to stop my mind from going completely wild.

But I can't cope with what if's. I know baby number three will haunt me for the rest of my life if we don't try. But we also know now isn't the right time. Not right now, we've both got too much on our plates. But it may not always be this way.

I saw a meme the other day which said "your child will be your best teacher and most beautiful work of art". The reality is, is that some of those lessons will be painful to learn.

We don't regret the things we do, but the things we don't do. I've never heard anyone grow old and say they wish they'd spent more time working but I have heard people say they'd wish they'd had more children.

We don't regret the things we do, but the things we don't do.

Bean & Mummy's Yo! Sushi Date

Ever since we started making veggie sushi at home, I've wanted to be brave enough to go out for proper sushi. 

Bean is a bit of a food lover and I've had plans building in my head for a while of places we can go where we can try new foods together. So when Mr Strawberry and I went on a rare date and the boys became jealous, it didn't take me long to arrange 'dates' with both boys. Ed and I went to the movies (his choice) and I took Bean for sushi. It wasn't our only option but I'm so pleased we went, it was fabulous. 

On the way there, we discussed eating fish, raw fish and crab. We talked about how neither of us had ever eaten raw fish but maybe we should try it. It's fine to not like something but it's not fine to not try anything new. 

So, we got there and Bean chose us a little booth. He loved the bright colours, the cute characters and the tv on the wall that seemed to go through a loop of sushi dishes and lucky cats, all within cool Japanese imagery. The staff were all super helpful and friendly, made sure we had everything we needed and ensured they were close by if we had any questions. Every table has water taps so we never went thirsty and the conveyor belt of plates went past the table so we could grab whatever we fancied. 

It took us a bit of time to read through the menu (there are so many options) and find what was passing us but we didn't feel rushed. The dishes we really fancied but couldn't see, we simply ordered. Bean loved that he could press the button which alerted our waitress (thankfully he didn't get too hooked on it and was very sensible for someone who is only five). 

Our first plate.

From the top; inari & chive futomaki, duck gyoza, tamago nigiri, inari pocket,
pumpkin korroke, duck & mango roll.

So, I take him out for sushi and he orders himself sausages!
At least he attempted to eat them with chopsticks!

We tried lots of new foods, and even got brave enough to try both raw fish and raw beef but we didn't like it. We tried the salmon without the salmon and poor bean ended up with just the wasabi flavoured rice. "Too spicy!" he said. But the pumpkin korroke, duck gyoza, beef tsukune, tamago nigiri and inari pocket were delicious! 

seared beef nigiri and salmon maki.

And the puddings! It's obvious from my waistline I'm a pudding girl. I went for sushi so I wasn't expecting great puddings too. My sister had told me about a cheesecake sushi thing so I knew they did a few, but the puddings ensured we went past our 15 plate limit. 

We went on a Sunday, so we partook in the Sunday munch deal, which is 10 plates for £20 and 5 plates for £10 for a child, but because we were trying everything which caught our eye, we soon maxed out. Then when Bean spotted more puddings passing us and ordered himself a fruit platter, it pushed us so far past it was cheaper to charge us for two adults. I didn't mind, the last time we had a date was August! And the unlimited water was free. We didn't finish everything on our plates so we brought home our left overs. 

We first tried the custard dorayaki which was so yum Bean nabbed a chocolate one too. The chocolate mochi was peculiar but tasty, as was the strawberry cheesecake mochi. I'm still deciding on the anko mochi, there's some in the leftovers box. 

Testing the mochi.

strawberry cheesecake mochi, custard dorayaki, chocolate dorayaki, chocolate
mochi and anko mochi.

"I will succeed..."

Looking back at the menu now (to get the names spelt right!) there are so many dishes we didn't try. We'll have to go back very soon. 

So impressed with the conveyor belt.

Yo! Sushi is the most child friendly place I've been to in ages, with sparkly clean toilets (which I always appreciate) and absolutely no tutting from anyone because I dared to take a child to a restaurant, especially one who can be a bit fidgety and knocked a glass of water over our table when he was being a bit impatient waiting for his fruit platter. 

We finished our meal utterly full, with a belly full of yummy-ness and after such genuinely lovely staff, I literally couldn't help leaving a massive tip. We struggled through town and Bean almost fell asleep on the way home. We probably shouldn't have eaten quite so much but if it's only twice a year who cares haha!

We're so full....

Brave Face: Teaching Children to be Honest

As adults we often find ourselves giving the world our happy face regardless of what's going on inside. We have people in our lives we can be truly honest with, who when they ask how we are, rather than give them the "fine, how are you?" response, we tell them the truth, good and bad. 

When I collected Bean from school on Thursday, he had his arms wrapped around his tummy and his little face was white as a sheet. He was obviously quite poorly and his teacher handed him over seeming oblivious. As soon as we got in the car he fell asleep and proceeded to spend his evening sleeping in the sofa, waking only to puke in a bowl. He perked up around 8pm and happily got ready for bed despite skipping dinner and sleeping for almost five hours that afternoon. 

He was fine after a good nights sleep but because he'd been sick in the last 24 hours he couldn't go to school, so we had a lovely chilled out day together. 

When we collected his brother at 3pm, I picked up Bean's homework from his teacher and asked if she knew he was poorly. Apparently, she had no clue. 

Now I know Bean had a rubbish short term memory so it's difficult to drag the truth about what happened, but when questioned he told me he had felt poorly both before and after lunchtime, which means my poor sausage had felt dreadful all day and not bothered to tell anyone.  I, of course, explained to both boys that if they ever felt poorly at school, they ought to tell a teacher and I'd be happy to come fetch them so I could take care of them. There's no reason to suffer though it.

But it bothered me that Bean couldn't tell his teacher, who is lovely. I hope she doesn't feel bad about not noticing how ill he was. I know my boys and if they want to put on a brave face for the world, they will, keeping all their feelings saved up for when they see me. Ed is the same, he keeps everything bottled up all day only to release a tirade of emotions when I collect him. I wish they could be more comfortable with their teachers, though they have only been at this new school for five months, they need to be open and honest with their teachers.  Especially if new situations arise, like if someone started bullying them, they need to be able to tell someone at the school. 

I don't really know how to deal with this, aside from talking to them, encouraging them to be open with their teacher, instilling the idea that their teacher is a safe place and giving them more time to get used to their new school. 

On the plus side, despite how busy and distracted I can get, I am obviously still their favourite 'safe place' and I can't help but enjoy that feeling of being needed by my little people. I must be doing an okay job of being there for them when they need me *mini happy dance*.

I think the 'brave face' has a place in our lives, we can't go around opening up to everyone who glances in our direction, that would be weird (and we've all experienced that person at the bus stop who suddenly launches into their life story, which only leaves you thinking "why can't I drive?") but I think there needs to be a certain amount of people you can open up to. For my boys, I think they should have someone at home (obviously) and someone at school. In fact, thinking about it, the people who are truly miserable at work seem to be the people who haven't got anyone they can be truly honest with in that place. So maybe we need one at home, one at work, one at whatever social activity we do.

What do you think? 

Are things uncomfortable when you don't have a confidante in each surroundings you find yourself in on a regular basis?

Up-cycling: Rescuing an Old Basket from the Bin

This helped me solve a problem I had on my bedside table. I've been redecorating my bedroom and it's coming along beautifully except the random items I desperately need at my bedside were driving me mad. I needed a basket of some kind but my searching had come up with nothing that would fit in my scheme of things. I knew I'd end up making something myself so when I found this broken old basket in the bin (not my bin, but don't tell) I was pleased as punch. 

I could see why it was being thrown out, the top edges had completely come apart with sharp sticks poking out everywhere, but with a fabric lining, no one would ever know what lies beneath. 

You could do it too! 

Paint it the colour of your choice and find some fabric you like. I could have made it to fit perfectly, but I hate sewing curves so I just gathered the excess in and put some elastic around the top edge. 

Up-cycling; it's fun, saves waste AND it can solve your storage problems :)

Silent Sunday

Minecraft Diamond Ore Curtains

So I needed to make some curtains to go in the boys new Minecraft room. At first I was completely stumped, but after raiding my fabric stash I came up with these.

I love that I have so much fabric, and so many different kinds. I'm so grateful to all the people who let me raid their clear-outs.

I had some grey wool, but unfortunately not enough, so I backed it with some black wool, which actually turned out great because it's given them a really useful blackout effect (fab for playing games with torches). If I was to make them again and willing to buy fabric especially, I would simply use a nice grey cotton or something.

For the blocks, I used some shiny satin and metallic polyester.

I cut out my curtains and started on the coloured blocks. Because I was using scraps from my stash, I used several pieces. I first ironed on some bondaweb.

 Then I drew on some 3x3cm squares using my set square.

 These are the shapes I wanted to cut out.

 I cut them all out and pinned them in place, using a google image as a guide.

I ironed it and stitched it all together.

Et voila!

The wool is very wiggly and it would've looked better in cotton, but it was free so I'm not complaining and the boys are very impressed.

Think I'll make some matching cushions...